The last 48 hrs.

First. A prayer.

Heavenly Father, 

Let the people in Moore and Shawnee feel your love.  Help them to be recognize your love and feel your strength.  And give them the strength they will need in the days, months and years ahead.

Amen

I will admit, with little embarrassment  the last couple of days have worn me out.  Mentally I am done. I prayed for the Lord to take my anxiety and for me to be able to let it go and then I took it right back again.  Sometimes we can do that.  Sometimes we can't.  

I was watching the weather very carefully on Sunday.  I can get a little too focused.  2 apps on the phone, one on the iPad and a real live weather radio.  Alerts were going off in 4 different places.  The one that made the difference was the weather radio.  It actually said there was a rotation and named the location.  It was almost 11PM, the boys were asleep, I had on my expensive new running shoes (be damned if I was going to lose those!) and I went to Eric and suggested he change from flip flops to shoes, the sirens would be going off.  As we were waking the boys you could hear the siren (across the street) begin that eerie quiet start and then full blown blare.  It sets your heart to pounding and your expensive shoes a movin!  Eric was upstairs getting Alex and I was getting Grayson out of our bed.  I dressed him as we headed to the basement while trying to answer his sleepy questions and not scare him to death. I use the term basement loosely.  It's mostly a crawl space but there's a space that is 3 feet deeper with a cement floor and cement and brick walls.  Alex brought his clothes and got dressed in the basement.  We had blankets.  We had flashlights.  I had my purse, iPad and cell phone. and family binder.  (When I feel stressed I pick a project that has free printables from one of those fancy bloggers.  So, I have a couple of fancy pants binders)   We sat, squatted and shook while trying to listen for the tell tale sound of a train through the wind, rain, hail, thunder, lightening and breaking glass. The power never went out so the light showed our fear and the 50 year old window gave a glimpse of the lightening.  Some vent under the house magnified everything. I kept hoping someone would yell, "Cut! Print! That's a wrap!"  Alex, being on the spectrum was largely unafraid.   Sitting on an old paint bucket but, he was quiet.  Grayson, sitting on my lap, blanket over his head would ask how long?  What's that?  Finally after a few rounds the siren was off and we went upstairs to find broken windows and storm windows.  And then Monday.  Yesterday.  I pick the boys up from school knowing we only had a few minutes before the siren would sound.  I think it was the same storm system that hit Moore and it was headed our way.  We weren't home 7 minutes... wait, we were home long enough for the boys to take their shoes off and get super comfortable.  So, maybe 3 minutes.  Grayson, sensing my nervousness is asking endless questions while following me around the house and Alex won't get his shoes on.  Love and Logic does not apply in this situation.  You cannot leave them upstairs and say, "Then I guess you'll blow away with the storm."  You also cannot force a 10 year old down old wooden steps barefoot.  I texted Eric, "come home please".  I can get super polite when I'm scared.  We were in the basement twice or three times that evening.  Thankfully, this missed us.  (photo borrowed from FB).

Just when you are feeling thankful for your safety and that your prayers to be kept safe are answered you hear and see the images out of Moore.  We all ask why?  Why a school, Lord?  And our human nature is to get mad and want an explanation.  We also forget we are his children and children don't always get the full answer.  He did not say this world would be free of tragedy and heartache.  It seems like lots of messages tell us we will be protected.  He speaks to the protection of our soul.  We can feel blessed all we want but, it in truth we are all blessed and protected when we choose to believe in Him.  The protection he promises is everlasting life with Him.  Isaiah 46:4 "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you.  I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."  2 Timothy 4:18 "The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom.  To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen."   In his book 90 minutes in Heaven the author describes the joy of heaven to be tenfold more joyful than our worst heartache and pain on earth.  That's something to remember when our heart is broken for ourselves or others.  The joy we will feel in heaven is tenfold stronger than the pain we feel on earth.  Our earthly minds and bodies are temporary.  Our souls are eternal in Jesus Christ.  

Heavenly Father, I pray you will let us feel your peace and comfort as we forge ahead on earth. Until you call us home may you give us strength and peace to do your will.  And help us to surrender our worries to you. 

Amen.

Too bad the Disney Channel can't make you breakfast too!

It's a typical Friday night.  Enjoying the end of the week relief and wondering what to have for dinner.  Just then my phone rings.  It's my Dad.  I know this because the Benny Hill theme song is set for his calls.  I'm so uptown.    If you don't know who Benny Hill is, then you are missing out.  My Mom thinks I grew up fairly "smut free".  Except for Benny Hill.  And the fact that I had Cable TV in my room when I was 10.  We had HBO.  Don't tell her but, I remember once, just once, watching through  a squinted left eye and squeezed shut right eye.  These were dangerous times, before remote controls.  Had my bedroom door opened I would have had to open both eyes, leap from under the covers 6 feet to the TV and push the power button.  Had I been smart I would have pretended to be asleep.  Good thing none of that played out.
So, Dad asks if we want to come for dinner.  YOU BET!!!  But, Grayson's tummy hurts. Thinks he might be sick.  Eric and Alex go on over while Grayson and I hang back.  I close blinds and curtains and turn lights off and get blankets and pillows for the patient.  I'm thinking *this is weird, He doesn't like the dark and if my life were a movie this would be the moment the music starts and he tells me some deep meaningful truth and we both cry.*  After 10 minutes or so he doesn't throw up and we head to Grammy and PaPa's.
Dinner was great and after Grayson eats a few pieces of garlic toast he's genuinely astonished when he declares, "I MUST HAVE JUST BEEN HUNGRY!"  He's 7.  I know he eats a lot and often but, I would have thought he'd been hungry before.  Experienced some kind of hunger pains and a growling stomach. Guess not.  Put that in his scrapbook *better get busy on that... let's see... last time I worked on that, oh that's right he was 6 MONTHS OLD!*.
Alex is done eating and we're talking about roller skating.  Cause Family Skate night was last night.  I don't have dare devils for children.  Alex's sensory issues and a personality lacking in the desire to move fast while riding any apparatus has prevented him from doing much but, riding the razor.   And yelling.  Generally if he's moving, he's yelling.  Since Grayson is younger and follows (sometimes a little) what his big brother does (not) he has followed in the same cautious (scaredy cat) footsteps.  But, wait.  Their Daddy doesn't like Merry Go Rounds, Roller Blading, Snow Skiing and probably skateboarding, roller skating and all that stuff.  Well, Duh.  This lack of riding things with wheels hasn't stopped them from wanting to be able to roller skate and of course ride a motorcycle.  But, they just want to be able to do it.  Right now.  In true Motherly form I shout nearly daily, "you have to practice!!!  PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!!!"   My Mom is explaining this theory to Alex and he says, in an elevated voice, "I KNOW, GRAMMY.  PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT".  I'm giddy on the inside just knowing I'm going to get credit for that little gem and everyone will know I'm awesome.  Then my Mom asks, "Who told you that, Alex?"  "OH. UH, GRAMMY, I HEARD THAT ON THE DISNEY CHANNEL".    Crap.  Too bad the Disney Channel can't make your breakfast too!

"Snow Day"

It's more like an Icee Day.  Remember those?

                                          
Oh, that sounds good.  Perfect mix of cherry and cola.  Anyway, it's more like and Icee outside than  snow.  Either way everything is shut down.  Except the mouths of babes which seem to be working overtime with the questions.  The biggest triumph today is that they ate an apple for breakfast instead of potato chips.  I don't approve of the chip breakfast, that's just what happens when they prepare, or open, their own breakfast.  G actually blurted out the words "healthy snack" this morning.  Finally.  Someone is teaching him something.
I am still recovering what what seems like the 3rd round of sick in the last 2 months.  Remember how I have always said I don't want to be around a bunch of kids all at one time?  Well, don't tell anyone but, I am now and I kinda like it.  I know.  Weird.  It's been my experience that when I say, "I'll never" or "I would never"  the Lord has a way of  placing that right smack in the middle of my life and before I know it I'm chasing those words with an iced tea.  If I could think of a great scripture to go along with that I would add it.    If you know of one feel free to add in comments.  It might just be my imagination or God's Murphy's Laws.  I dunno.  I'm tutoring 1st and 2nd graders, reading and math.  I don't have a group bigger than 6 so, I will just call that my max.  Also, don't tell MY kids but, it's a whole lot more interesting and rewarding to try to teach other peoples kids something.  Who am I kidding?  They would say it was a whole lot more interesting to have anyone but me as their teacher.  I have been fortunate enough to catch whatever the kids have sneezed or breathed in my general direction.  I remember one little dear coughing and I couldn't duck and dive fast enough.  Caught that one right on the face.  Like a nice warm puff of germy air.  I chose NOT to dab my finger in germex and then shove it up my nose.  I do carry tissues.  And germex.  Which, I think  is really just a psychological remedy.  A sugar pill, if you will.  A Placebo.  But, whatever.  They might think I have cooties so, we're even steven.  

Well, it's nearly lunchtime which very likely will be the highlight of our day.  PB&J on the last bit of home baked bread.  Home baked not, homemade.  Sometime soon I'll tell you all about our efforts to go dye and preservative free.

Happy snow, icee, slushie, or whatever your day may be!


 

and then what will happen?

I usually stop short of answering this question with, "and then you'll die".  I've never been very good at explaining things to kids.  Doesn't matter that I birthed two of them.  You don't all of a sudden become filled with all the Mommy wisdom just because you have them.  Same thing goes for teaching them stuff like in Sunday School or VBS.  Just because I have two of them doesn't mean I want to be around a whole bunch of them at one time.  Don't tell anyone.  It's a well kept secret among the Mamas.  If you suspect there is a mama that feels this way don't call her out on it.  It is up to her to admit it.  My lack of explaining skills is challenged daily.  So, when G wants to know, "and then what will happen", I want to end that roll with something dramatic.  The other day he said, "Oh My God"  which is absolutely forbidden in our house.  It's not the first time he's said it and it's not the first time I've told him not to and punished him for it.  This time I tried guilt.  I leaned in real close, pointed my finger in his "what's she gonna tell me now sarcastic face" and something like, God doesn't like it when you take his name in vain!  You can't do that ANYMORE!  "What will happen?" he asks.  I. I. I. Well. I wanted to shout, "YOU WILL GO TO HELL!"  But, I didn't cause that seemed borderline crazy and I didn't want to try to explain what hell was like so he could decide whether or not he could stand the heat.  I'll just stick with taking away some electronic device and tell him I will pray for him.  To which I'm sure I will hear, "And then what will happen?"