Too bad the Disney Channel can't make you breakfast too!

It's a typical Friday night.  Enjoying the end of the week relief and wondering what to have for dinner.  Just then my phone rings.  It's my Dad.  I know this because the Benny Hill theme song is set for his calls.  I'm so uptown.    If you don't know who Benny Hill is, then you are missing out.  My Mom thinks I grew up fairly "smut free".  Except for Benny Hill.  And the fact that I had Cable TV in my room when I was 10.  We had HBO.  Don't tell her but, I remember once, just once, watching through  a squinted left eye and squeezed shut right eye.  These were dangerous times, before remote controls.  Had my bedroom door opened I would have had to open both eyes, leap from under the covers 6 feet to the TV and push the power button.  Had I been smart I would have pretended to be asleep.  Good thing none of that played out.
So, Dad asks if we want to come for dinner.  YOU BET!!!  But, Grayson's tummy hurts. Thinks he might be sick.  Eric and Alex go on over while Grayson and I hang back.  I close blinds and curtains and turn lights off and get blankets and pillows for the patient.  I'm thinking *this is weird, He doesn't like the dark and if my life were a movie this would be the moment the music starts and he tells me some deep meaningful truth and we both cry.*  After 10 minutes or so he doesn't throw up and we head to Grammy and PaPa's.
Dinner was great and after Grayson eats a few pieces of garlic toast he's genuinely astonished when he declares, "I MUST HAVE JUST BEEN HUNGRY!"  He's 7.  I know he eats a lot and often but, I would have thought he'd been hungry before.  Experienced some kind of hunger pains and a growling stomach. Guess not.  Put that in his scrapbook *better get busy on that... let's see... last time I worked on that, oh that's right he was 6 MONTHS OLD!*.
Alex is done eating and we're talking about roller skating.  Cause Family Skate night was last night.  I don't have dare devils for children.  Alex's sensory issues and a personality lacking in the desire to move fast while riding any apparatus has prevented him from doing much but, riding the razor.   And yelling.  Generally if he's moving, he's yelling.  Since Grayson is younger and follows (sometimes a little) what his big brother does (not) he has followed in the same cautious (scaredy cat) footsteps.  But, wait.  Their Daddy doesn't like Merry Go Rounds, Roller Blading, Snow Skiing and probably skateboarding, roller skating and all that stuff.  Well, Duh.  This lack of riding things with wheels hasn't stopped them from wanting to be able to roller skate and of course ride a motorcycle.  But, they just want to be able to do it.  Right now.  In true Motherly form I shout nearly daily, "you have to practice!!!  PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!!!"   My Mom is explaining this theory to Alex and he says, in an elevated voice, "I KNOW, GRAMMY.  PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT".  I'm giddy on the inside just knowing I'm going to get credit for that little gem and everyone will know I'm awesome.  Then my Mom asks, "Who told you that, Alex?"  "OH. UH, GRAMMY, I HEARD THAT ON THE DISNEY CHANNEL".    Crap.  Too bad the Disney Channel can't make your breakfast too!

"Snow Day"

It's more like an Icee Day.  Remember those?

                                          
Oh, that sounds good.  Perfect mix of cherry and cola.  Anyway, it's more like and Icee outside than  snow.  Either way everything is shut down.  Except the mouths of babes which seem to be working overtime with the questions.  The biggest triumph today is that they ate an apple for breakfast instead of potato chips.  I don't approve of the chip breakfast, that's just what happens when they prepare, or open, their own breakfast.  G actually blurted out the words "healthy snack" this morning.  Finally.  Someone is teaching him something.
I am still recovering what what seems like the 3rd round of sick in the last 2 months.  Remember how I have always said I don't want to be around a bunch of kids all at one time?  Well, don't tell anyone but, I am now and I kinda like it.  I know.  Weird.  It's been my experience that when I say, "I'll never" or "I would never"  the Lord has a way of  placing that right smack in the middle of my life and before I know it I'm chasing those words with an iced tea.  If I could think of a great scripture to go along with that I would add it.    If you know of one feel free to add in comments.  It might just be my imagination or God's Murphy's Laws.  I dunno.  I'm tutoring 1st and 2nd graders, reading and math.  I don't have a group bigger than 6 so, I will just call that my max.  Also, don't tell MY kids but, it's a whole lot more interesting and rewarding to try to teach other peoples kids something.  Who am I kidding?  They would say it was a whole lot more interesting to have anyone but me as their teacher.  I have been fortunate enough to catch whatever the kids have sneezed or breathed in my general direction.  I remember one little dear coughing and I couldn't duck and dive fast enough.  Caught that one right on the face.  Like a nice warm puff of germy air.  I chose NOT to dab my finger in germex and then shove it up my nose.  I do carry tissues.  And germex.  Which, I think  is really just a psychological remedy.  A sugar pill, if you will.  A Placebo.  But, whatever.  They might think I have cooties so, we're even steven.  

Well, it's nearly lunchtime which very likely will be the highlight of our day.  PB&J on the last bit of home baked bread.  Home baked not, homemade.  Sometime soon I'll tell you all about our efforts to go dye and preservative free.

Happy snow, icee, slushie, or whatever your day may be!


 

and then what will happen?

I usually stop short of answering this question with, "and then you'll die".  I've never been very good at explaining things to kids.  Doesn't matter that I birthed two of them.  You don't all of a sudden become filled with all the Mommy wisdom just because you have them.  Same thing goes for teaching them stuff like in Sunday School or VBS.  Just because I have two of them doesn't mean I want to be around a whole bunch of them at one time.  Don't tell anyone.  It's a well kept secret among the Mamas.  If you suspect there is a mama that feels this way don't call her out on it.  It is up to her to admit it.  My lack of explaining skills is challenged daily.  So, when G wants to know, "and then what will happen", I want to end that roll with something dramatic.  The other day he said, "Oh My God"  which is absolutely forbidden in our house.  It's not the first time he's said it and it's not the first time I've told him not to and punished him for it.  This time I tried guilt.  I leaned in real close, pointed my finger in his "what's she gonna tell me now sarcastic face" and something like, God doesn't like it when you take his name in vain!  You can't do that ANYMORE!  "What will happen?" he asks.  I. I. I. Well. I wanted to shout, "YOU WILL GO TO HELL!"  But, I didn't cause that seemed borderline crazy and I didn't want to try to explain what hell was like so he could decide whether or not he could stand the heat.  I'll just stick with taking away some electronic device and tell him I will pray for him.  To which I'm sure I will hear, "And then what will happen?"

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After school is a crap shoot. Now that they're both in school the minute they get in the car the shock of being back in their company is like waking up from a nap in the middle of a night club. Not that I've ever been to a real night club but, it's like the ones on TV. Today was the same, "UH, MAMA?!" I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!" "HEY! I GET IN FIRST!" "MOVE!" "HEY!" And these are the days old people to tell you to cherish because, "It goes by so fast." Uh. huh. Add to that school staff anxious for you too move along and it's a real funfest. Alex always. Always. asks me to roll down the window to tell me something before boarding and Grayson gets in yelling happy "THE FIREFIGHTERS CAME HERE TODAY! HERE!!!" Or, he's frowning, "JOE (Not Joes real name) MOVED TODAY AND I AM SO SAD!" At the same time Alex is trying to tell me something, anything. Taking turns for anything is lost on these two as they each think they are an only child and the other is just a house guest who's over stayed their welcome by 6 years or so. Alex finally gets his turn this time. He wants to show me what he's written in his planner. " I Miss My Mom " If I were a super savvy Motherly type of Mom I would know some sweet, straight out of a fairy tale sort of thing that would make him smile. Instead, the best I have is a gentle but, hesitant pat on the head and an, "I'm sorry, Sugar." Luckily I don't have to think of anything else to say because Grayson wants to play a new game, "Who Died First". There are 4 animals and one very Special "Grandma" we visited. Thankfully the ride home is under 4 Minutes so it didn't take long to get the order of deaths straight including one review just to make sure. As soon as we hit the drive they lost focus on that fun new game. I feel very fortunate that our conversations have not been much worse than that. But, G's teacher just had a baby. I'm pretty sure he's gonna want to know a lot more about that. Knowing him he won't stop until someone has explained it, step by step, drawn him pictures, painted said pictures, turned it into a bedtime story and then reported new found knowledge to at least 7 people.

 

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